Blow Your Own Horn!

Okay, I can't blow my nose in the shower. You know, the way many people will clean their sinuses by blowing into their hands...Can't do it. I know people who have no trouble with it. A roommate from years ago swore that he could heal a sinus infection by standing in a super hot shower until all the mess in his head broke loose, then simply blow it out. I have this recurring picture in my head of a plumber blowing out a clogged water line. I can do lots of things in the shower. Been known to pee there when the need strikes. Now who among us hasn't gotten in the shower and realized that they suddenly need to pee? Farting in the shower is no big shakes either. Just can't seem to get past having my own mucus running down my arms...

I was sitting in one of the chairs in my living room the other day. I'm sure I was busy killing brain cells by watching some inane show on television...That's a topic for another day. From my chair I could look out my front door into my quiet neighborhood. You know the kind, not quite Cleaveresque but very nice none the less. I could see my neighbor across the street taking out the garbage, and a jogger trotting past, goofy bastard, as well as any number of other relatively tame things you see in suburban America. At some point, however, I glanced up to see a couple walking their dogs down the street, I assume in an effort to get some exercise for all four of them. The gentleman had a large breed dog in tow, some sort of boxer by the look, while the lady was walking the family lap dog, a Chihuahua no less. Nothing of note really stood out until the crew of man and canine approached my front lawn. At which point the lady shooed the lap dog into my yard and right before my eyes allowed it to relieve itself on my mailbox post. Obviously it must have forgotten to pee in the shower earlier that day!

I will say this now, I am not an animal hater! I'm not an animal lover either, I can pretty much take them or leave them. I grew up with animals, none of which were allowed in the house. Our Labrador Retriever was left to his own devices, which generally entailed fighting with strays that found their way onto our small farm, and disappearing for weeks at a time in search of female company. I can honestly say though, that in sixteen years I never once found myself stepping in any of his leavings. It strikes me that not only has the human social construct begun to erode but that of the canine as well! I sat there slack jawed for a few moments and even felt a muscle twitch as if I were going to step outside and say something to the couple. Just as the spasm occurred though I realized that it wasn't as if she were going to 409 my mailbox post, and from the way she never broke stride, that she saw nothing wrong with the actions of the dog. Just then another thought crept into my head and I wondered about the correlation between the act of pissing on a post and where we have gotten to in our world. How have we come to be so careless in the treatment of our neighbors property? Is this all really that big of a deal? Probably not, but it was rolling around up there and now it's here...